I don't even know what brought this on

[cest_what]

Sometimes I think that shyness as a concept was invented by extroverted people.

I still get mistaken for shy, which I should be used to, but I guess I assumed would change as I got older? Simply because surely the way people interpret your behaviour must change between the ages of twenty and thirty, even if the behaviour itself doesn't change so much.

The thing is that I'm reserved and quiet in a lot of real life social situations, sure, but I'm not shy. That implies that you want to talk to and be liked by strangers or acquaintances, but don't know how to make that happen. In most cases I just don't give a fuck, though. Which is kind of how introversion works? Most people you don't know well, just not that interesting. That's not shyness, that's being a self-absorbed jerk, as politely as you can.

Comments

[alias_sqbr]

Well, I imagine some introverted people are shy as well as introverted (I'm a sometimes shy mostly extrovert, though, so wouldn't know)

[cest_what]

Well, I suppose so, yes. *g*

I guess if I was being less flippant I would say, I think shyness is more likely to be situation-specific than an essential character trait? Being shy around particular people rather than default shy. Whereas a lot of people are default introverted. But no, of course that doesn't mean shy people actually don't exist.

[alias_sqbr]

I don't know, I am "introverted" (needing time alone) sometimes and "extroverted" (gaining happiness and energy from the company of others) depending on circumstance, and was pretty consistently shy under most circumstances for the first 20 or so years of my life, even with friends. So I find most conversations about the "division" between introverts and extroverts a little baffling.

[cest_what]

Fair enough!

[gloss]

Ha, this makes a lot of sense to me. Interesting how self-serving people's diagnosis of "shyness" can be.

[cest_what]

It's this assumption that we would all like to be gregarious if only we could. Which is a weirdly universal assumption. In the way that most people feel as though they need to, e.g., excuse the fact that they didn't go out anywhere on Friday night, even if they didn't ... you know ... want to.

p.s. because I just noticed: LSP \o/ I just started randomly watching Adventure Time, I'm so charmed.

[gloss]

Adventure Time is so much fun! It is definitely my happy place -- I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

[cest_what]

It's so weird and sweet and they sing songs and they're decent songs and there are all these friendships that are strange and perfect. How great.