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cest_whatFor the "our song" square in my cottoncandy bingo card. More Hogwarts 'verse.
Homestuck | Roxy & Dirk | 1500 words | PG | at AO3
Summary: The end of Seventh Year is coming too soon for Roxy.
The fifth floor Charms classroom was pretty much the worst place ever to be tipsy and sad and eighteen in. Roxy had picked it because no one had used it in three weeks, but that was due to the accidental convergence of practice spells that had resulted in the classroom walls being charmed to play timeless Celestina Warbeck pop ballads, which no one had worked out how to reverse yet. The room was dusty and abandoned, the one wide window gave out onto lonely rooftops where drifts of damp leaves had piled up under the dusk sky, and Celestina was belting out 'My One and Only Keeper Boy' with awful sincerity.
So it was maybe just as well that Roxy had left "tipsy" some time ago. Tipsy Harbour was way off in the distance behind her, and she was sailing the SS Totally Fucking Sloshed as far as it would take her.
She leaned down from her perch on the window sill to pick up the firewhiskey bottle. The cap was ... whoops, already off. She took a swig, a sweet burn down her throat, and wiped the back of her hand over her mouth. Mama told me never give your heart to a Keeper boy, Celestina warbled. Mama told me he'll never let you in. Roxy pulled her knees up and hugged the bottle.
"Whoa, don't jump," someone said.
Roxy lifted her head, blinking. "Oh!" she said when she'd focused. "Heyyyyy." She lifted her hand to wave, and lost her balance.
Dirk was across the room and catching her arm before she'd registered more than the sick swoop of falling. He tugged her back up.
"Ok, wow, that was a joke," he said, propping her back against the sill.
Roxy was laughing and breathless as she let herself be propped. "Oh fuck, that would have been hilarious, worst way to die evaaaaar. I would've had t' come back as a ghost just to be super fuckin' embarrassed at everyone."
"I'm not sure I've ever seen you embarrassed by anything for longer than a few minutes," Dirk said. He sat down at the other end of the window sill, his long legs hedging Roxy in against the drop.
Roxy snorted. "Ok so like embarrassed for minutes and then ... then rippin' it the fuck up in spooksville, totes party town in the ... afterlife. Thing." She made a face, rubbing her cheek against her shoulder. God, she was too sad for this. Her emotions were swooping all over the place. She'd wanted to be on her own, but now she was pathetically glad Dirk had come to find her. Even though he was rubbish at comfort. Fuck, she wanted a hug.
"You're pretty much blotto, aren't you?" Dirk observed.
Roxy lifted her chin. "Hey, that is my preroga – gatory. Or something. I turned seventeen last year." She leaned forward, resting her elbow on Dirk's shoulder and giving him an earnest look. "This girl is one hundred percents of lawful. Awful. Legal." It was difficult to focus on him from this close.
Dirk put a hand on the bottle she was holding to steady it, and eased her back. "Not a hundred percent awful," he said mildly. His pointy shades were crooked. It was almost like having an expression. It was adorable.
Dirk's mouth twitched downward. "What is this, Rox?" he asked. "What are you doing? Aranea Serket told me she passed you on the stairs, but unaccountably failed to mention the bottle of firewhiskey and the air of nihilism."
Roxy waved a hand. "Nothing, I'm not doin' anything," she said. "Just hanging-gining out with Celestina."
(The song was 'Imperiused by Love' now.)
Dirk didn't say anything. Roxy drank from the bottle again, shuffling her feet against his leg. "It's nothing," she said again. "S'just ... stupid, is all." She looked up. He was watching her steadily. "I'm bein' stupid."
"Can't argue with that if I don't know what you're doing," he said.
"Oh come on, Dirk, it is totes obvious what m'doing. I am feeling sorry for myself like a loser at a loser pity party, that is completely clear from like outer space."
"It seems there is an elevated likelihood that that is indeed obvious." His eyebrows were visible above his shades for a moment. "Not really what I was asking, though."
"Ughhhh. I'm jus' bein' sad and stupid and sad about leaving school, ok. Fuck." She took another swig, lowering the bottle and gesturing with it. "S'just ... this is it, this is like, a few months and we're gone."
Dirk frowned. "Are you worried you'll lose touch with people?"
"No. Sorta, I guess?" She ducked her head, fair hair falling in damp wisps into her eyes. "It's just, everyone fucking ... Jake is just chafing at the goddamn bit to do his research-adventurer thing." She focused on her knees, not looking up. "And Jane's had her apprenticeship set up since like last year, and you ... you're just, plans everywhere, plans in plans inside plans and you probably knew what you were going to do when you graduated before you even came to Hogwarts, and just like, kept that shit close to your chest." She pressed her forehead against her knees for a moment, dropping her voice. "And I am just ... so ... fucking ... scared and. Lost. I don't know what the fuck I want to do."
She finally looked up, attempting a smile. "Look, I know iss stupid and lame, that's why I'm like – all hiding away in a classroom, keeping all my lame to myself. I just ... I keep thinkin' about, if my mother was still –"
"Roxy ..."
"No, it's dumb, I just, I wish she was here." She bit her lip till it stung. "I wish I could ask her. She'd prob'ly say something snarky and passive-aggrieve – aggrass – fuck that word, something super not useful. But maybe she'd have ideas, or she'd tell me it's okay not to know, or just ... fuck." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I wish she wasn't dead."
Dirk sighed. "It's not true, you know."
Roxy pressed her face against her knees again. "What," she mumbled.
"You're not the only one who feels like they're faking it with this growing up shit." She heard him shift. "Jake ... I mean yeah, Jake's never seen a leap he didn't want to take without looking, he's got no second thoughts. But Jane's freaking out about whether her apprenticeship is the right choice. She's only being half as chipper as she is because she's trying to talk herself around."
"Pffff she's wanted to do private detectivy stuffs since she was like eight."
Dirk made a noncommittal noise. "It's not very practical, though. She could have taken the magical comestibles apprenticeship instead. She's terrified that she's throwing her future away on something that probably isn't in the least like her daydreams.'"
"Oh nooo, Janey." Roxy lifted her head, a hand over her mouth.
Dirk bit his lip. "I'm just saying, those of us with plans are still ..."
"Scared?"
"I wouldn't say scared, but –"
"It's ok, you can say scared."
Dirk blew his breath out. "Ok yes, I'm fucking scared. Of course I am."
"Really?" Roxy tried to see his eyes through his shades, but it was impossible as always. She supposed she didn't really need to, though, after seven years of friendship.
Dirk leaned forward, tugging the bottle out of Roxy's hands and putting it on the floor. He took both her hands in his. "My point is, we're going to be alright. You don't know what you want to do, and you don't need your mother to be alive to tell you that's ok. I'm telling you that's fuckin' ok, that is more than ok. You'll work it out."
Roxy swallowed. "Fuck, you'll make me cry," she whispered.
Dirk grimaced. "Yeah, no, don't do that. Please."
Roxy's laugh was wobbly. "Whatevs," she said. "Ok, you're right. We're gonna be fine."
"We're gonna be amazing, that's the truth. Because you know what? We are eighteen years old, the world is pretty much ours, it's a fucking beautiful night and they are playing our song."
Baby, my love lights the fire in the floo, Celestina sang. Baby, my love brings me back to you.
Roxy snickered. "They're playing 'My Love Is a Portkey', are you totes sure that's our song?"
"Fuckin' A that is our song." He tugged her to her feet. "Dance with me."
An ironic slowdance to Celestina Warbeck was the kind of thing only Dirk would find it easier to offer than a hug. Suddenly she could hardly breathe with how stupidly fucking fond she was of him.
She fluttered her eyeslashes. "Ooh, Mr Strider, my heart is going pitter-pat."
"Damn straight," he said.
She hooked her arms around his neck and wow he was really not a smooth dancer, or maybe that was her, shit fuck, balance. Balance was really fucking hard.
Dirk laughed a bit and adjusted his hold. Roxy leaned her forehead on his shoulder and they swayed.
Honey, I'll always come back, don't you see, Celestina sang. Baby, my love is a portkey.
It sounded like the end of an era. It sounded, a little, like possibility.
Homestuck | Roxy & Dirk | 1500 words | PG | at AO3
Summary: The end of Seventh Year is coming too soon for Roxy.
The fifth floor Charms classroom was pretty much the worst place ever to be tipsy and sad and eighteen in. Roxy had picked it because no one had used it in three weeks, but that was due to the accidental convergence of practice spells that had resulted in the classroom walls being charmed to play timeless Celestina Warbeck pop ballads, which no one had worked out how to reverse yet. The room was dusty and abandoned, the one wide window gave out onto lonely rooftops where drifts of damp leaves had piled up under the dusk sky, and Celestina was belting out 'My One and Only Keeper Boy' with awful sincerity.
So it was maybe just as well that Roxy had left "tipsy" some time ago. Tipsy Harbour was way off in the distance behind her, and she was sailing the SS Totally Fucking Sloshed as far as it would take her.
She leaned down from her perch on the window sill to pick up the firewhiskey bottle. The cap was ... whoops, already off. She took a swig, a sweet burn down her throat, and wiped the back of her hand over her mouth. Mama told me never give your heart to a Keeper boy, Celestina warbled. Mama told me he'll never let you in. Roxy pulled her knees up and hugged the bottle.
"Whoa, don't jump," someone said.
Roxy lifted her head, blinking. "Oh!" she said when she'd focused. "Heyyyyy." She lifted her hand to wave, and lost her balance.
Dirk was across the room and catching her arm before she'd registered more than the sick swoop of falling. He tugged her back up.
"Ok, wow, that was a joke," he said, propping her back against the sill.
Roxy was laughing and breathless as she let herself be propped. "Oh fuck, that would have been hilarious, worst way to die evaaaaar. I would've had t' come back as a ghost just to be super fuckin' embarrassed at everyone."
"I'm not sure I've ever seen you embarrassed by anything for longer than a few minutes," Dirk said. He sat down at the other end of the window sill, his long legs hedging Roxy in against the drop.
Roxy snorted. "Ok so like embarrassed for minutes and then ... then rippin' it the fuck up in spooksville, totes party town in the ... afterlife. Thing." She made a face, rubbing her cheek against her shoulder. God, she was too sad for this. Her emotions were swooping all over the place. She'd wanted to be on her own, but now she was pathetically glad Dirk had come to find her. Even though he was rubbish at comfort. Fuck, she wanted a hug.
"You're pretty much blotto, aren't you?" Dirk observed.
Roxy lifted her chin. "Hey, that is my preroga – gatory. Or something. I turned seventeen last year." She leaned forward, resting her elbow on Dirk's shoulder and giving him an earnest look. "This girl is one hundred percents of lawful. Awful. Legal." It was difficult to focus on him from this close.
Dirk put a hand on the bottle she was holding to steady it, and eased her back. "Not a hundred percent awful," he said mildly. His pointy shades were crooked. It was almost like having an expression. It was adorable.
Dirk's mouth twitched downward. "What is this, Rox?" he asked. "What are you doing? Aranea Serket told me she passed you on the stairs, but unaccountably failed to mention the bottle of firewhiskey and the air of nihilism."
Roxy waved a hand. "Nothing, I'm not doin' anything," she said. "Just hanging-gining out with Celestina."
(The song was 'Imperiused by Love' now.)
Dirk didn't say anything. Roxy drank from the bottle again, shuffling her feet against his leg. "It's nothing," she said again. "S'just ... stupid, is all." She looked up. He was watching her steadily. "I'm bein' stupid."
"Can't argue with that if I don't know what you're doing," he said.
"Oh come on, Dirk, it is totes obvious what m'doing. I am feeling sorry for myself like a loser at a loser pity party, that is completely clear from like outer space."
"It seems there is an elevated likelihood that that is indeed obvious." His eyebrows were visible above his shades for a moment. "Not really what I was asking, though."
"Ughhhh. I'm jus' bein' sad and stupid and sad about leaving school, ok. Fuck." She took another swig, lowering the bottle and gesturing with it. "S'just ... this is it, this is like, a few months and we're gone."
Dirk frowned. "Are you worried you'll lose touch with people?"
"No. Sorta, I guess?" She ducked her head, fair hair falling in damp wisps into her eyes. "It's just, everyone fucking ... Jake is just chafing at the goddamn bit to do his research-adventurer thing." She focused on her knees, not looking up. "And Jane's had her apprenticeship set up since like last year, and you ... you're just, plans everywhere, plans in plans inside plans and you probably knew what you were going to do when you graduated before you even came to Hogwarts, and just like, kept that shit close to your chest." She pressed her forehead against her knees for a moment, dropping her voice. "And I am just ... so ... fucking ... scared and. Lost. I don't know what the fuck I want to do."
She finally looked up, attempting a smile. "Look, I know iss stupid and lame, that's why I'm like – all hiding away in a classroom, keeping all my lame to myself. I just ... I keep thinkin' about, if my mother was still –"
"Roxy ..."
"No, it's dumb, I just, I wish she was here." She bit her lip till it stung. "I wish I could ask her. She'd prob'ly say something snarky and passive-aggrieve – aggrass – fuck that word, something super not useful. But maybe she'd have ideas, or she'd tell me it's okay not to know, or just ... fuck." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I wish she wasn't dead."
Dirk sighed. "It's not true, you know."
Roxy pressed her face against her knees again. "What," she mumbled.
"You're not the only one who feels like they're faking it with this growing up shit." She heard him shift. "Jake ... I mean yeah, Jake's never seen a leap he didn't want to take without looking, he's got no second thoughts. But Jane's freaking out about whether her apprenticeship is the right choice. She's only being half as chipper as she is because she's trying to talk herself around."
"Pffff she's wanted to do private detectivy stuffs since she was like eight."
Dirk made a noncommittal noise. "It's not very practical, though. She could have taken the magical comestibles apprenticeship instead. She's terrified that she's throwing her future away on something that probably isn't in the least like her daydreams.'"
"Oh nooo, Janey." Roxy lifted her head, a hand over her mouth.
Dirk bit his lip. "I'm just saying, those of us with plans are still ..."
"Scared?"
"I wouldn't say scared, but –"
"It's ok, you can say scared."
Dirk blew his breath out. "Ok yes, I'm fucking scared. Of course I am."
"Really?" Roxy tried to see his eyes through his shades, but it was impossible as always. She supposed she didn't really need to, though, after seven years of friendship.
Dirk leaned forward, tugging the bottle out of Roxy's hands and putting it on the floor. He took both her hands in his. "My point is, we're going to be alright. You don't know what you want to do, and you don't need your mother to be alive to tell you that's ok. I'm telling you that's fuckin' ok, that is more than ok. You'll work it out."
Roxy swallowed. "Fuck, you'll make me cry," she whispered.
Dirk grimaced. "Yeah, no, don't do that. Please."
Roxy's laugh was wobbly. "Whatevs," she said. "Ok, you're right. We're gonna be fine."
"We're gonna be amazing, that's the truth. Because you know what? We are eighteen years old, the world is pretty much ours, it's a fucking beautiful night and they are playing our song."
Baby, my love lights the fire in the floo, Celestina sang. Baby, my love brings me back to you.
Roxy snickered. "They're playing 'My Love Is a Portkey', are you totes sure that's our song?"
"Fuckin' A that is our song." He tugged her to her feet. "Dance with me."
An ironic slowdance to Celestina Warbeck was the kind of thing only Dirk would find it easier to offer than a hug. Suddenly she could hardly breathe with how stupidly fucking fond she was of him.
She fluttered her eyeslashes. "Ooh, Mr Strider, my heart is going pitter-pat."
"Damn straight," he said.
She hooked her arms around his neck and wow he was really not a smooth dancer, or maybe that was her, shit fuck, balance. Balance was really fucking hard.
Dirk laughed a bit and adjusted his hold. Roxy leaned her forehead on his shoulder and they swayed.
Honey, I'll always come back, don't you see, Celestina sang. Baby, my love is a portkey.
It sounded like the end of an era. It sounded, a little, like possibility.
no subject
Date: 2012-08-26 08:23 pm (UTC)N'awww, this made me so sniffly! Like happy-sad sniffles? I love how you write Roxy - she sounds right, she *feels* right, she's just Roxy, right there. It's wonderful.
"Ok so like embarrassed for minutes and then ... then rippin' it the fuck up in spooksville, totes party town in the ... afterlife. Thing."
I don't want her to die? BUT THIS WOULD BE SO AMAZING. Also, her *voice*, you are so good at her voice.
His pointy shades were crooked. It was almost like having an expression. It was adorable.
N'awwwwwwww yes yes.
Jake ... I mean yeah, Jake's never seen a leap he didn't want to take without looking, he's got no second thoughts.
*hee* I love how well his friends know him. Jake is Jake and his reckless foolishness is not to be ignored.
"Oh nooo, Janey." Roxy lifted her head, a hand over her mouth.
This moment is why I think your Roxy is SO GREAT. Because her diction, yes, her tipsiness, yes, but then how she forgets everything for a friend? Yes, a thousand times! I love this moment so much.
Roxy snickered. "They're playing 'My Love Is a Portkey', are you totes sure that's our song?"
I want to draw hearts all over this line, I can't help it.
An ironic slowdance to Celestina Warbeck was the kind of thing only Dirk would find it easier to offer than a hug.
Aaaaaand, I love how you write Dirk.
And that last line! ♥__________________________♥
no subject
Date: 2012-08-27 02:22 am (UTC)I'm so stupidly glad you think I got Roxy right, I wanted to so badly, and she's really challenging. Trying to get her voice without the typoes and the line breaks is ridic, and then her turns of phrase are so distinctive and amazing, and I can't tell whether I'm overdoing it or not. God I love her, though.
Dirk was weirdly a lot easier than either Roxy or Jane, have you found that? (Whyyyy is Jane so hard, I feel like she shouldn't be hard.)
I don't want her to die? BUT THIS WOULD BE SO AMAZING.
Have you read this Jane/Gamzee fic from the HSO? It has all the alpha kids as ghosts and they're amazing and darling and tragic.